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001 Change and Authenticity
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I am thinking about the programs we have running that make us believe that change is never comfortable.
And I don’t think that’s true.
Impatience is all about expectations and expectations kill joy, and they actually add pressure. And we don’t need more pressure, we’re already living in a high pressure environment, we really don’t need to add that upon ourselves.
The fact is that we’re not kind enough to ourselves.
And I think making changes in only some areas and going slowly and being kind to ourselves and reminding ourselves out of choice, that what is ours won’t pass us by, is actually a lot healthier in terms of the speed at which changes go through.
Because sometimes certain things are too big to go through a small pipe. We really don’t need that. We survive everything that’s thrown at us. We always live to see another day. If we turn around and look at all those things we went through with gratitude, then that makes it easier.
Now I know some of you are going to have their eyes rolling so far back they’re going to start seeing their brains.
Bloody gratitude again, I know, it keeps getting served over and over again.
And yes, it’s annoying, especially when you’re not in a place where you feel that you can feel gratitude for anything. When you’re in the thick of it where you’ve got life suction cupped to your face, being grateful is difficult. But again, it’s a choice and we can go “Alright, what can I be grateful for?”.
That little exercise of saying three things you’re grateful for when you go to bed is a brilliant one.
If you don’t do that, maybe try it, and if you can’t handle doing three, please be kind to yourself and be patient, do just the one.
And if it turns out that you’re happier doing it in the middle of the day, stop, you smell the roses, and say “Oh, really well, I’m really grateful for this”, it’s already a massive step towards living in gratitude, because it’s going to happen more and more often, because it’s going to feel good, it’s going to feel expansive. It might feel forced at first, of course, because that’s a change if you’re going from not doing it to doing it.
So, on the topic of change, maybe gratitude is a good place to start.
But it doesn’t have to be. For starters, you’ve got support. If you start looking for support, you will find support. You might be asking the wrong people at the beginning, and you might need to, you know, pull yourself by the bootstraps, put your big girl pants on, or stop being a big girl’s blouse (ouch, I need to eradicate such sexist expressions.). You know, you might need to toughen up a tiny little bit and ask the right people. And that’s where having a tribe is important.
But there is support out there. I know. I’m a St. Bernard, and I’m all about support. And I could absolutely spend all day talking to people I absolutely don’t know, just to support them. Because it’s the kind of stuff I do, I just know the right thing to say to make them react to or I know the right emotional bruise to poke. That’s just, that’s just what I do.
There are people out there, myself included, who can help you. Obviously, a lot of people who help are also in need of paying for their bills. So please don’t be an energy vampire. Even if you’re in your hour of need, they might not have you as their priority. But then if they are good with their own boundaries, then they’ll know how to tell you and let you know that that maybe you can consider taking action, looking for Healing Sessions, taking retreat, actively making the needle move.
Change doesn’t have to be crazy hard. But when we exact change in our life, sometimes we realize that a whole bunch of things that have happened to us, or situations or things that we lived through or cultivated in our lives are actually completely inauthentic. And that’s a bit of a difficult one.
For my part, I realized that I was married with a malevolent narcissist, and that the whole of my life with him, which is well over 20 years was actually a lie, because he hand picked me for my insecurities and for my skills, because those people pick people who can handle everything in life, while they just get busy doing their job and berating you. And so you think you’re getting married, but what’s going on is actually they are gaining status at work, it makes you look more important to turn up as a married man. And then it makes you more important, or “look” -again, appearances- , more important to have one child and become a family man. And then you have another kid etc, etc. And everything’s put in place to increase the power of the one against the power of the other, when it should really be 100% with one and 100% with the other not even 50/50.
I’m nobody’s other half, I’m nobody’s better half, and no one is my other half and no one is my better half. Well, right now I’m single, so that’s an obvious one, but when I get back in the game, I’m still going to be my own person with all my free will, the things that I’m ready to accept and things I’m not ready to accept. So sometimes when you have to exact a change in your life, you realize that a whole bunch of things weren’t true. You want to make those changes in your life while being authentic to you.
Because what is meant to be ours won’t pass us, we will meet the right people who will put the right seeds in the soil. And things will sprout at the right time, which is when patience comes in.
It is important to remain open to those encounters that we have in life. Because what is meant to be ours won’t pass us, we will meet the right people who will put the right seeds in the soil. And things will sprout at the right time, which is when patience comes in. I remember one of my friends was into Angels and all that kind of stuff. And I was soooo judgmental. I was of the opinion that she was neurotic and making it up, lots of “ands” lots of very judgmental “ands”, but she was my very good friend. So I would accept all of this because it was just part of her. But I was rejecting it as impossible to become part of my life.
And here I am saying this just a few days after I have become a Certified Angel Guide with Kyle gray, so it’s taken a few years for that change to happen! But it’s been a journey. I’m definitely mindful of my own shadow, I regularly apologize to her in in my mind and send the intention that she will feel those apologies, because I was a judgmental, so and so. And I didn’t know, I had my programming that said people who thought these things were completely woowoo and crazy. My friend was part of the beginning of my spiritual journey, she gave me a Doreen Virtue book, which I still haven’t read to this day…
She had all those card decks, and I’m saying this today, with about six card decks on my desk right now. Now I know my desk looks like a battleground. If you know me, you know that it looks like a battleground. You could probably carbon 14 date things, I clear it on a regular basis. Usually before a big something something. And I can feel it coming because I’ve got divorce paperwork to do. Actually I’ve had divorce paperwork to do all week, and I’m resisting change, which is why change has come up.
You need to be authentic, and you need people to empower you. Because sometimes you just need a bit of hand holding.
Now it’s not about looking for a Guru. I don’t want to be anybody’s Guru. I’d rather be somebody’s catalyst. I’m nobody’s guru. I don’t want that responsibility because it’s full on codependent. On my side wanting to be a Guru and for the other side, the person wanting someone to cling to someone to have all the answers.
I know about this because I was in an abusive relationship to begin with. And also because I went through that phase of trying to cling to someone who knew more about all the unseen things. That refers to my best friend and she she’s got gifts, and I just kept asking her question after question after question after question, hoping she was going to upgrade me and lift me out of what I was going through. That was codependent.
So yes, codependent with my best friend… We both managed to sort ourselves out. We were actually going through the exact same thing, she also separated from her abusive husband who actually has the same first name as mine…
So if you need people to help you along the way, there is no shame in it and it’s actually going to help propel you. If you feel resistance to some of the things that they put in front of you, don’t, well -try not to- be as judgmental as I was with my friend with the Angel cards and because it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass if it was actually meant to be on your path! It’s the same principle as “The lesson will present itself to you many times over until you have understood it.”
Let’s not be pigheaded, let’s see what change comes naturally to us and let’s start being Yes people. I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie Yes Man with Jim Carey. It’s very interesting. Because when you start saying yes to things… Now there’s a Ted talk from a guy talking about an app making choices for him in his life for a couple of years.
That’s also an interesting one you might want to look at. Although we could argue that letting AI make decisions for us is not the best thing, when we’re thinking about everything being energy, whether it comes from AI, or whether it comes from someone who crosses our path, it’s probably pretty much the same thing. So watch it, well watch both if you haven’t seen both and make your own opinion, which you can totally change, also, because free will! We sometimes come to a different conclusion and we integrate, and then we change our mind, right?
It’s important to remember that there are people along your path who can help you or who have already been helping you, if you if you stop and think for a bit about people who exposed you to certain things and certain ideas were they going against your programming? Where they gently nudging you? Where they in your face about it?
Which things do you want to look at? And more importantly, do you feel comfortable asking questions? Do you feel comfortable feeling as vulnerable as you would really need to be, in order to change your habits of thoughts and your habits of actions?
Would you accept to take the risk of being stripped bare, so you can build new foundations for yourself throughout different ventures?
If you’re not familiar with Brene Brown’s work, absolutely go for her work about vulnerability. Start with her TED Talk. If you don’t want to swallow words in a book. I’m sure she’s also on Audible. Look into your own ability to be vulnerable, because that’s going to allow you to be flexible through change.
To be authentic, it takes guts to turn around and say “I was completely wrong.”, “I was completely programmed.”, or “I had only partial information”. “And now I choose to do this, that or the other or think that or the other or feel this, that or the other. Because now I know this much more.”
You’re never going to actually get there, I want to make sure that I say that, because change is the only constant. Therefore people who act and look like they’ve got all their shit sorted are absolutely full of it. “It” and ego are pretty much the same thing. Now we’re not talking about acting without any ego, or all those other people who go on about having completely stripped their ego are also full of it, because there’s no such thing as stripping your ego completely and removing your ego.Some of it is survival, you’ve got to have some.
If you want to enact changes in your life, be ready to do things that you haven’t done before. Be ready to feel things you haven’t felt before. Be ready to ask people you’ve never asked anything from or, to or about before. Read the books, investigate.
Give yourself a break if it’s too hard, give yourself a break if is just too much in quantity. Give yourself a break if you don’t know and don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what you don’t know.
Please don’t should on yourself. I know it’s hard. We’re really good at shoulding on ourselves, all of us. But compassion is a big one. And patience is a big one. And authenticity is a big ne.
Now you may be ready to accept all your changes. You’ve also got to be prepared for people around you to not be able to match your vibe and to not be ready for your changes.
I don’t always say what I’m doing and what I’m going to be doing. For starters, I don’t always know. But apparently it’s in my Human Design Strategy. That’s another thing that crossed my path. And it’s a rabbit hole if there ever was one. You may want to look into Human Design rather than Astrology, for example, or as a complement to Astrology, and all those personality tests and so on, you can look into Human Design. The website is jovianarchives.com. You can put the app on your phone and do your Bodygraph and find out the very basics about your Human Design. My Human Design is Manifestor, 8% of the population. I am a 1/3 “Ego manifested”. When I read that, my ego went “Whaaaaaat??? I don’t do the ego stuff!”. But I calmed my hot mess, it actually means “Heart manifested”, or expressed through the heart and that’s a 1% of the population. So that made sense, because I don’t have any filter between how I feel, how I think and how I say things, which is part of why I’m here talking to my lovely microphone (This is a transcript, Dear Reader), and to yourself, having taken no notes, because I seem to be able to speak some measures of wisdom on top of silly jokes, because I’m actually quite funny. (But not here right now). So there’s no filter. I’m supposed to express myself through my voice, which I’m doing right now, not filter, tell people what I’m going to do.
Now, I don’t have anything in particular to announce right now. So you know, you can keep your knickers on, but this is me trying things out. As a Manifestor, I’m supposed to be doing this to be in my purpose. And I’m supposed to be telling people what I’m going to do. Now I’m in full-on conflict with this. This is where I have a resistance to change.
I do not like telling people when I’m going to do. Not that I want to work on the snide, but it feels like I’m justifying myself. And I do not take to justifying myself well at all, it is going against my Human Design, and that puts me in a place of anger and it’s quite uncomfortable.
The only three things I’m changing in my life right now are doing a whole bunch of paperwork for my divorce (I cannot stand paperwork). To stop saying “and”. To tell people what I’m going to do. When you’re working from home, and your kids are in school, you don’t see anybody, it’s really difficult to let people know what you’re going to do, so I am trying to implement that change in my life, to be authentic to myself. Because apparently, that’s where my impact is supposed to be. I have no idea. You’ll have to tell me. Are you enjoying this rambling? I have no idea. I’m just doing it. With no notes, no script, nothing. What I’ll do is I’ll run this recording through an app that’s going to pick up the text. And that’s how it’s going to go. I think I’m going to put it on my website. I think I’m going to put it on Facebook. That’s all I know.
Stay authentic, even though you don’t quite know what you’re doing when you’re going through changes. Ask people the right people, if possible, you’ll very quickly know who the wrong people are: they’ll make you feel like crap. And they’ll project that crap onto you. You might buy into their stuff for a while, but if you wonder and if you ask yourself, if they’re taking from your energy, or if they’re helping you soar then you’ll know very, very quickly, and then we don’t need to judge them, because they’re only doing their own thing. They’re doing what they can, it’s not about you. What they say is not about you. What they say is about them. So there’s another lesson there.
(I might do something on that. That everything was about you when you’re experiencing it.)
And whatever other people are experiencing is about themselves. It just so happens that when we have a conversation with someone, we bring our stuff and they bring their stuff. It’s like one of those TV shows where a politician turns up and comes with their answers while the journalist comes up with their questions. They don’t necessarily meet up.
When you go through something or a change, or you need guidance, and you go to the “wrong” person, you’ll know very quickly if they’ve taken from your reserves or not. And this is when pivoting is a good idea. Asking for help is a good idea.
You never know! The number of times I’ve had random Facebook conversations with people and I just said the right thing. They wrote to me on the side, or I wrote to them to just say, “Hey, you’ve got this”, or anything! It can be something completely random.
Somebody contacted me about essential oils. And then we ended up talking about narcissistic mothers. Te conversation went way deeper than it was supposed to. Well, that’s because it was supposed to! Because I was put on the path of, or they were put on the path of… The lady’s deaf and that pushed me, that nudged me (because I offered no resistance to it) to start teaching my classes with subtitles! That that’s something I’d wanted to do for ages but I hadn’t quite investigated it, I hadn’t been pushed in a corner because we feel we need to make a change only when it’s going to be painful or we have no choice, which isn’t true.
This lady was interested in oils but couldn’t afford them, so it wasn’t about selling anything. We were talking about her mum. And so for the next class I taught, I investigated how I could get subtitles. It happens to be that PowerPoint does subtitles… if you just turn them on. They can be a bit funky, but it doesn’t matter. The point was that she needed some support, she got some support. And I got to do something that I had wanted to do for a while.
Some of the changes can happen as gently as this. And it’s just saying yes, and making yourself available for someone.
It’s just saying yes, and making yourself available.
Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Push yourself, but don’t go crazy on the changes. Stay authentic, stay you and you can get it “wrong”. That “getting it wrong” is actually a lesson. If you do something and you don’t get the result that makes you feel good or makes others feel good (if you’re doing it for someone else), then if you feel that it wasn’t right, it was just a lesson or it was just confirmation.
Sometimes it’s a booster shot when you make the same mistake, or the same choice or something similar that gives you the same results and you didn’t actually manage to put a change into action. It’s just a booster shot of “Oh, no, we need to stop doing that.”
Sometimes it’s just not the right time. And sometimes it’s just a completely different strategy that we need to opt for. And it’s all good, because at the end of the day, the lessons are there.
I know that I go on about lessons. (I’m an ex teacher too.) I’m constantly learning and sometimes I can feel a bit guilty and a bit ADD about it because I’m constantly looking for the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing but it’s just my nature. I’m crazy about investigating and learning new skills and learning things. And that’s why I keep learning. It’s part of being 1/3 in Human Design, too. It’s part of having Scorpio in certain places also, apparently, that’s it. I’m just being me, and I’m trying my best -ooh Master Yoda wouldn’t agree- I am doing my best not to judge when I need to exact a change because some of it is going to go through the pipe and some of it is not going to go through the pipe, so it just gets queued for further investigation and further change later.
You’ve got this. You absolutely have it, you’re going to be fine. You’re actually already fine. Did you know that? You’re doing great. You’re you, which is the most important thing.
If you are not you, if you just read these words and got a bit of a pinch somewhere in your body, because you feel you’re not you, then that’s your cue. What can you do? How can you behave? What new thought pattern can you put in place to start being more you, one thing at a time, so that those changes make you more you?
And trust that you’re supported, in your changes and in your needs. All that rambling is about basically telling you to be you. And that it’s okay to be you. And it’s okay to be the changing you. It’s all fine.You’re enough. You’re more than enough actually…
If you feel you need some more time with me, working on specific things, I’m available on www.terralunainti.com/healing (Terra being Earth, Luna being The Moon and Inti being the God Sun) if you want the short version and a rundown of the things I do. Otherwise, just go through the website. I am wordy as you’ve noticed. So if you want the short version, go to the /healing and we can get working.
I have different ways of getting information for you if you want some Akashic and Shamanic healing, I roll it all into one including sound healing, and I go and retrieve tools for you from your guides. So that’s the very, very woowoo stuff, which is more wow wow than woowoo.
I do something called Mindscaping, which is hypnosis free, recalibrating of your subconscious so that you can make decisions and make changes in your life easily, without resistance, the only resistance you might feel, are resistance to the programs that you have running. And that only happens as in when the change is happening. And it’s a beautiful transformative process. And it’s very easy, and it doesn’t feel like work. (And I don’t understand why people don’t do this more rather than talking to a shrink for an hour every Wednesday for 25 years. Not that I have anything against shrinks. I just like short and sweet things that make big changes.) I like efficiency. Because I’ve got other things to do than to wallow and cry. I’m a crier. You don’t want me to cry.
I also have Emotional Mind Reset that I created that because whole Ho’oponopono wasn’t enough, because Access Consciousness wasn’t doing enough for me and I couldn’t get my bars run because of lockdowns and where I am etc etc. EMR is basically a very advanced self-healing method, a self soothing method, you just buy the recording one time. This one is specifically for “I Am Enough”, which is the basis of everything which is “wrong” with all of us. So I’m nobody special. You’re nobody special. We all need a good heavy thick dose of I Am Enough, which is why I did just that one recording for now. You will learn how to use it, learn the technique and then you can self-soothe and self-regulate at any point when something starts hijacking your emotions or your thoughts knowing that you can hijack yourself because that’s all programming coming back in. So have a look at EMR or Emotional Mind Reset. It’s like Tapping: you type on your meridians but the statements are completely different. That stuff is gold.
I also do Rapid Transformational Therapy, hypnosis with regressions. It’s heavy duty hypnosis and it requires listening to your audio which I will do in session for you, every single for a minimum of 21 days. It is harder work. I’m a fan of short methods which is why I don’t do so much RTT anymore, but it’s extremely powerful. I like to discuss with people what the best solution for their needs is, because at the end of the day, I can turn up with my answers, and you can turn up with your questions. And we might not meet, which is why I want to avoid that and offer a variety of services. And also have a secret menu for spiritual counseling for people who really need hand holding, and really need to start and be able to ask hundreds of questions. We do that in sessions together however I usually find myself doing a whole bunch of support on Messenger, which isn’t technically part of the original plan, but it doesn’t matter because the need feeds the transformation.
So that’s how I work. So I will stop rambling. And I would like to thank you very much for reading and surviving till the end. It wasn’t a done deal. I have no idea how long I’ve been going. And I’ve got braces on. So I don’t know if I’ve been whistling like the beaver from Lady and the Tramp. But hey, talk about change and resistance! Braces at 45. Yup! I’m going through this right now. I’ve had the elastic chain put in on top of the metal cable yesterday. That’s why I feel like I’m whistling. My teeth hurt like hell.
I am grateful for the fact that we are all wearing masks, because nobody needs to see my face with my braces. How’s that for vulnerable and egotistical and embracing change at the same time? So yes, for now, I am grateful that I can hide my braces, because my ego is embarrassed that I have braces. And I even went as far as going for ceramic braces because there was no way I was going to be seen dead with metal braces like my kids have.
And please extend some compassion to the kids with braces because it’s extremely difficult to brush your teeth properly! So if they look like they’ve got yellow, orange or green teeth for a couple of years, it’s because it’s really difficult to brush your teeth properly. I can attest to that.
So again: change, authenticity while keeping your hair on, you’re going to be fine. You’ll be fine. And I have no idea what is going to become of this recording. So you might actually be the first listening to (reading!) something that’s going to turn into something great, or some of the rare people who will have listened to (read) something which will totally flop and give nothing, but it doesn’t matter, because I’m enjoying doing this. I’m talking to my microphone and giggling on my own.
Who cares? I don’t care. Nobody’s judging me. I’m certainly not judging myself.
I shall now love you and leave you and stop rambling. I think I’ve been saying for about five minutes that I would stop rambling, so it’s going happen now.
Loving you and leaving you and be good to yourself and be good to the people around you, please.
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I can't wait to hear about your wins.
Creator of Emotional Mind Reset. Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT) Practitioner (Hypnosis), Mindscaper®, Aromatherapy Practitioner, Bach Flowers Practitioner, Access Consciousness Bars® Practitioner, Shaman, Certified Angel Guide, Certified Sound Healer (Tuning Forks and bowls), Reiki Practitioner, Sacred Freedom Technique Practitioner, CTP, PGCE MFL. Yup. I am a bit of a Swiss Army knife...