I thought something was coming up today.
Do you know how?
Because I had a headache (I worked too late last night), but I started tidying my desk…
Anyone who knows me knows I could carbon date some stuff on there (no dead things that were once alive are ever found on my desk, promised). I only have a clear out every few months. Basically when I start to resent the pile on the left and the pile on the right, I start stacking things in the middle, and that gets in the way of my keyboard and my many notebooks, at which point I throw a silent wobbly and I clear the entire desk.
Obviously, this is preferably when have a full to do list, one of the cats is sick, a kid needs some paperwork for school, or the pile of single socks on the sofa has reached a critical level.
Hey, procrastination is a way to manage stress, so no judging.
So I started clearing my desk, found some papers I had been thinking about looking for for a couple of weeks, and obviously stopped halfway, because it was necessary at that point for me to check out my THREE whiteboards.
The same THREE whiteboards I haven’t touched for two and a half years and barely looked at for six months, because it felt like nothing was moving anyway.
Indeed, the THREE whiteboards which had been manifestos to how little I had achieved in comparison to my many ideas and wants, since I started my life reboot.
Well, you know what?
I immediately started feeling better.
It wasn’t so much the desk. It was the fact that some of the things (that wouldn’t rub off because they had been there for so long), had actually been DONE, or DITCHED!
Imagine my surpriiiiise!! I had things to rub off!! ( Actually I needed some lemon essential oil for that).
And it felt GOOD. And I wrote my wins in my book -not this one, that one, yeah the blue one, no, the other blue one-.
I was FINALLY, today, able to appreciate how far I had come in so many respects.
Now, why am I telling you this?
Because I sucked at checking how far I’d got, I had life stuck to my face and I couldn’t take a step back, receive, or acknowledge.
And believe me, for someone who happily gives all the time, that was low-grade-but-always-there-stressful and there is no reason why you should put yourself through this too.
So.
My goals and wants were too many for the energy levels I had and was going through.
They were too diverse for me to be focused, especially for a neurodiverse brain.
They were all awesome because I aspire to great things, and so I didn’t want to let go of any.
They were too big because I get the larger vision and that’s enough to drive me, but that’s also what drowns me.
But I still achieved massive amounts of things, because I kept going at slow speed and Life made it that what was irrelevant fell away or was replaced.
What was at the core of my purpose stayed and the trauma got slowly chipped away at, making space for my overall vision to take shape.
Because support in small and big ways simply showed up, I was able to ignore the impossible to rub off lists, and the impossible to ignore piles, and still kept going.
So, Lovely, when you find yourself procrastinating, not doing what you “should” and “wanted” to be doing and beating yourself up, don’t be a ninny like I was.
Tidy your desk.
Wipe off your whiteboards.
Take stock of what you HAVE achieved.
And relax a little.
You’ve got this.
I can't wait to hear about your wins.
Elsa
Creator of Emotional Mind Reset. Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT) Practitioner (Hypnosis), Mindscaper®, Aromatherapy Practitioner, Bach Flowers Practitioner, Access Consciousness Bars® Practitioner, Shaman, Certified Angel Guide, Certified Sound Healer (Tuning Forks and bowls), Reiki Practitioner, Sacred Freedom Technique Practitioner, CTP, PGCE MFL. Yup. I am a bit of a Swiss Army knife...